Agents and How to Get Them
In the interests of full disclosure, I have to say I don’t have an agent myself yet, so I’m really only qualified to give general advice like don’t market your work before it’s ready and never pay an agent to look at it. But here’s what I know about how to get agents. Some of this is just common sense. Some is stuff I’ve picked up over the depressingly long number of years I’ve been writing. Some I made up out of thin air… Well, okay, no, I didn’t, I promise.
Getting an agent basically boils down to you giving them something they think they can sell. It’s a lot like working with a recruiting agency, except that agents don’t go trolling for writers on Monster and call them with prospective jobs. But basically Writer A submits his resume (=query letter) to Agent B, who knows what all her publisher/prodco/studio/etc. contacts want and uses that knowledge to accept or reject Writer A as a client. However, if Writer A has demonstrated an alarming lack of anything resembling writing ability, then he’s pretty much out of luck unless he’s a screenwriter with a hugely high-concept premise who can be booted off the project so someone who actually knows how to write can be brought on board to do a page one rewrite keeping only the premise. In short, get some qualified people to tell you your writing is decent before you bother with agents. Don’t blow it by trying too early. The agents aren’t going anywhere.
Always be professional. Never tell off a prospective agent no matter how much you want to. After all, you never know when you might want to work with them later on. And keep in mind that just because you get an agent doesn’t mean they’ll be able to sell your work. In some cases if they can’t sell your stuff pretty fast, they may lose interest in you.
Do a lot of research before querying agents. If you’re writing books, Writer’s Market has agent listings (you have to pay to use the site, but I assume they still publish their annual door-stopper which can be found in libraries or browsed in the coffee shop kindly provided by your neighborhood Borders or B&N… er, I mean, you can buy it at one of those stores). The Association of Authors’ Representatives has a searchable database and also requires its members to adhere to a canon of ethics, which is always nice (although maybe not if you’re an “agent” looking to scam people). Check the acknowledgments in books you like in your genre to see if your fave writers have thanked their agents, whom you might then query. Read blogs by agents like Nathan Bransford and Kristin Nelson. A friend has recommended Agent Query Connect, but since I’m not a member I can’t comment on how good that site is (well, I could, but my comments would be worthless). If you’re writing a novel, finish it before querying agents. For non-fiction you can query with a proposal and sample chapters.
If you’re a screenwriter, keep in mind there are the Big Five agencies (CAA, ICM, Endeavor, UTA, and William Morris) and then there are smaller agencies. Lots of contact info for folks in the entertainment industry can be found in the Hollywood Creative Directory (another pay site; not sure if the print version is still around). For a new writer, a lesser-known but hungrier agent may be a better bet than someone established who already has big-name clients and may forget you exist, especially if they can’t sell your stuff or get you work right off the bat. In the world of screenwriting, it’s also a good idea to have more than one completed script and several pitches ready for when they want to know what else you’ve got. Keep in mind a script isn’t completed just because you typed FADE OUT. Most scripts require several drafts before they’re market-ready (so do most novels, for that matter).
Probably the best way to get an agent is through a referral from another writer. But unless this writer is your BFF, don’t insult them by asking them to pass along anything sub-par. In fact, no matter who they are, don’t ask them. If they’re willing to read your work and they really think it’s great, they’ll offer to pass it on to their agent. If they think it sucks or would never sell or isn’t what their agent is looking for, they won’t. It’s that simple.
The best way to avoid being scammed is to know what’s going on and who’s who in your chosen sector of the professional writing world. Follow the publishing news. Read the trades. Read blogs. Read message boards (Done Deal is a good one for screenwriters, for all writers there’s Absolute Write, and at both sites you’ll find a mix of pros and raw newbs; for schmucks with Underwoods, there’s a site here where you’ll find fewer established pros but some good knowledgeable people and more cussing). Also, a lot of professional writers and screenwriters have blogs and/or websites. The Artful Writer (Craig Mazin’s blog) has a forum where a number of pros post (no guarantees as to the quality of what they post, but they post). Chatrooms such as the one at AbWrite or the one at Artful can be good places to schmooze with fellow writers.
That’s about it. If anyone wants to comment with more details or things I left out or personal stories about agents, you know where the comments section is.
Do Not Work for Exposure
I think I should set up a new category called “rants.” Today’s rant is about the folks who want writers to work for “exposure” or credit or want to pay $5 for a 400-500 word article. Or folks who want you to do a quick proofread of their work for minimal pay, assuring you the job shouldn’t take more than an hour or so (it will invariably take longer because their work will be full of elementary errors). Sorry, folks, pros like to get paid something reasonable. Because, you know, they’re pros.
I think there’s a perception that writing is easy. I mean, it is, right? You just sit down and bang out some words. Sort of the way I’m banging out this post. Bam, bam, hit save and you’re done. People who can’t do it assume they shouldn’t have to pay you more than a pittance for something so easy. Or maybe it’s just an employer attitude. There are certainly plenty of employers looking for highly qualified folks to take on huge responsibilities for a few dollars more than minimum wage.
The bottom line is you get what you pay for. If you want free content for your website, write it yourself. If you want to pay someone to write it for you, you have to offer a rate a professional is willing to take. Otherwise you won’t be getting a professional.
But hey, if there are any accountants out there who’d like to do my taxes for free, I promise to credit you on my tax form.
